Issue #3: Join Us On Our Journey to Dadlightenment
Date: January 21th, 2025

In This Issue

• Dadding 101: Dadding by the Numbers

• Radical Marriage: Small Steps for Big Impact

• Radical Mental Health: Addressing Societal Stigmas Around Men's Mental Health

• Radical Fitness: New Year New Me

• Radical Finances: Teaching Your Kids About Money

• Radical Faith: Purpose in the Pain

• DAD Review: Evenflo Shyft Dualride

DADing 101: Dadding By The Numbers

Fatherhood doesn’t come with a manual, but that doesn’t mean we can’t figure it out together. This section is all about navigating the joys, challenges, and daily adventures of being a dad, with tips to help you thrive - not just survive.

Statistically speaking…why does being an involved dad matter??

For all you dads with kids currently in their “mommy only era”, this is for you! Don’t lose heart, stay involved and stay engaged. Here’s why ⬇️

Here’s some great stats from All for Kids on children with involved and engaged fathers:

• “Are 43% more likely to get A’s in school and 33% LESS likely to repeat a grade”

• “75% less likely to have a teen birth”

• 80% less likely to do time in the slammer

• “50% less likely to experience multiple depression symptoms”

We all KNOW showing up and dadding is important but seeing some of the stats on the flip side is painful. According to A Father’s Place, children with absent fathers makeup:  

• “71% of all high school dropouts”

• “90% of homeless and runaway children”

• “63% of youth suicides”

So to recap, just simply by being an involved father your kids will (statistically speaking) do better in school, have less mental health issues, and you won’t be a grandad prematurely.

Now let’s get to the fun stuff. Rough-housing. Checkout this great article which basically says:

• Rough-housing with your kids helps them learn how to regulate their emotions

• Better emotionally regulated children are then more popular among their peers and “are more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior”

So basically wrestling with your kiddos leads to better behaved children and ultimately more emotionally stable adults. Interesting. Definitely saving this section for when my kids are old enough to wrestle.

We all know parenting is hard. Juggling everything all at once everywhere all the time. It’s easy to go to sleep feeling burnt out and overstimulated, questioning if all the effort is worth it. IT IS. Keep showing up, because it matters. Dads matter, and dad, you’re doing a great job.

Radical Marriage: Small Steps for Big Impact

Parenting starts with partnership. Whether you’re newly married, dating, or years into it, this section is here to help you strengthen your marriage and relationship, communicate effectively, and keep the spark alive - even when life gets messy.

How much does the average couple talk a day?

• According to a quick google search, the average couple spends about 30 minutes talking to each other a day. 30 minutes. Based on a few studies I saw, that actually might be shooting too high.

• BUT the average adult watches 2 hours of TV a day.

Now look, I’m definitely not one to judge screen time. But we all know the routine…get the kids down for bed. Clean up the kitchen. Prep for the next day. Collapse on the couch with your wife in time to catch the second half of whatever game is on. Probably stay up too late watching said game.

The Challenge

You’re probably waiting for the moment when we say that 30 minutes of talking with your spouse ain’t gonna cut it and you need to do better. But we’re not (saving that part for next week). Let’s talk about maximizing connection, at the end of the day when you literally just want to chill. It seems cheesy but “Couples Who Play Couple Games are About 67% More Likely to Stay Together”. Source: The World Game…kinda sketchy because they sell games, but still.

By games, we don’t mean Settlers of Catan, Magic the Gathering, or D&D. Although more power to you if you want. We’re talking quick and easy games that build small moments of connection during halftime or commercial breaks. Some of the favorites:

• 20 questions

• Never have I ever

• 2 truths and a lie

• Wavelength/Say the same thing: click here for instructions. Current fav.

• Ask Questions: There’s many apps out there that give you a question a day to ask your partner.

Remember the Bird Test from last week? Little moments of connection in your marriage are actually the most important. Yes it can be awkward at first to play 20 questions with your partner while Jared Goff throws another interception in the background, but trust us. Try it out! It’s fun AND cheaper than couples counseling.

Radical Mental Health: Addressing Societal Stigmas Around Men's Mental Health 

Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your family. Here, we explore ways to manage stress, cultivate resilience, and find balance in the chaos of dad life.

Understanding the Stigma

Societal expectations often dictate that men should be stoic, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved. These traditional notions of masculinity can discourage men from seeking help for mental health issues, as doing so may be perceived as a sign of weakness. I hate asking for help… it’s uncomfortable and makes me feel like I don’t have my ducks in a row or my life in order. I’m also embarrassed to admit that I can have uncontrollable anger, bouts of depression, and can fall into a spiral of not feeling enough. 

This STIGMA has created a lot of f#@%in problems!!

• Men are statistically less likely to receive mental health treatment compared to women, leading to untreated conditions that can manifest in harmful ways. 

• This includes higher rates of substance abuse, aggression, and, tragically, suicide. 

• Over 6 million men are affected by depression in the United States every single year… 

and if YOU are feeling this way, you are not alone. You are never alone. 

• Promote Open Conversations: Let’s start by breaking the silence. Talking about mental health in our workplaces, social circles, and families is one of the most powerful steps we can take. When we normalize these discussions, we reduce the fear of being judged and create spaces where men feel seen and heard.

• Challenge Traditional Masculine Norms: Being a man doesn’t mean facing struggles in isolation. Strength is found in vulnerability, in asking for help, and in showing emotions. 

• Provide Accessible Resources: Support shouldn’t feel out of reach. Whether it’s through tailored support groups, counseling services, or educational materials designed with men in mind, if you have a  resource that you like, share it wide!

As fathers, demonstrating vulnerability and openness about mental health can set a powerful example for your children. By acknowledging your own struggles and seeking help when needed, you teach your kids that it's okay to do the same. This not only fosters a supportive family environment but also contributes to breaking the cycle of stigma for future generations (which should always be the goal).

Radical Fitness: New Year New Me

Fatherhood is a marathon, not a sprint, and your body needs to keep up. This section dives into how to stay strong, healthy, and energized—so you can chase both your goals and your kids with confidence.

How can I actually stick with it this year?

The 9%

• Of people who set New Years goals, 80% believe they can follow through….yet only 9% actually do (Source: Drive Research)

• 79% of these goals are fitness related….

• Forbes found that in 2024, out of the top 5 most common New Year’s Resolutions, 3 of them were fitness related (Improve fitness, improve diet, lose weight)

Okay so everyone wants to be shredded, they think they can do it, but very few actually end up achieving that goal. If you’re reading this, I’d bet your life is more complicated than just GTL (gym, tan, laundry). So how do we be in the 9%?

I’m not going to bore you with the “find your why, make a SMART goal, find a gym buddy” stuff. Because…you know that. If you don’t, you do now.

• Consistency over intensity: If the NFL scouts haven’t called yet they aren’t going to now… not every workout has to be the most painful one yet. Showing up daily, even if it’s for 10-20 minutes, is better than crushing only 1 workout a week. Kick the mentality of “Oh I don’t have time to do my whole workout so I’m not going to do it at all.”

• Lean in to what you love: Just because you aren’t hitting the weights doesn’t mean it’s not a workout. If you like running, do more of that. If you like yoga, do it more often. Biking? Sure. Whatever. Quit beating yourself up because your workouts look different than they used to.

• Think of it as a lifestyle, not a diet or workout plan: If your like me, you’re easily wooed by carnivore, intermittent fasting, and whatever else Liver King does. (Wife said no to me hopping on gear). These short term fixes make it harder to stay committed long term though. Michael Smoak (@higherupwellness on insta) says if you’re starting out your fitness journey asking “How long will this take?”, you’re already going about it the wrong way. Focus on changing your identity, changing your lifestyle, changing who you are at the core, and the fitness will follow.

Radical Finances: Teaching Your Kids About Money

Money might not buy happiness, but managing it well can give your family peace and opportunity. Learn how to take control of your finances, plan for the future, and lead your family with financial wisdom.

Why Financial Literacy Matters For Kids: In a world where financial literacy is essential for success, it’s never too early to teach your kids about money. Small lessons today can lead to big wins tomorrow. As a dad, you have the opportunity to shape your kids’ understanding of saving, spending, and giving, helping them develop habits that will last a lifetime.

 Personally,  I never talked about money with my parents - it was an uncomfortable topic that we actively avoided,  and I wish (looking back 20+ years) that we’d spent more time intentionally walking through how to be savvy, generous, and a good steward of money. During my senior year of high school, my ethics teacher, Mr. Lambert, taught our class about Roth IRAs. I was mind-blown and completely frustrated that I’d never heard of it before. It’s never too late, so let’s talk about basic and practical applications:

Basics and Ideas By Age Group

Toddlers (Ages 3-5)

• What to Teach: Money is a tool used to buy things. Simple, right?

• Activity: Bust out the play money or set up a pretend store. Let them "buy" their favorite toy from you to show how money works - (bonus points if they negotiate for a better price) haha!

Kids (Ages 6-10)

• What to Teach: Saving vs. spending vs Giving (and why all three matter).

• Activity: Get three jars labeled "Spend," "Save," and "Give." Watch their faces light up as they start seeing their money pile up for each goal. Birthday cash? Straight to the jars. Allowance? Straight to the jars. Dad accidentally say a curse word? Money. In. The. Jars! 

Pre-Teens/Teens (Ages 11-18)

• What to Teach: Budgeting for bigger goals - maybe this is saving for a car or a fancy gaming PC or PS5. For your high schoolers, talk about college expenses, tuition, and budgeting! 

• Activity: Sit down with them to create a simple budget for their allowance or part-time job earnings. Want to blow their minds? Show how saving even $10 a week can add up fast. Ever heard of compound interest? I wish I did at 16. 

Simple Ideas  to Start Now

• Allowance System: Tie their allowance to chores or tasks so they get that sweet taste of earning money. No free rides here! (kidding but kind of)

• Money Jars or Apps: Start with physical jars or go digital with apps like Greenlight. Either way, it’s about making money management fun + visual.

• Interactive Activities:

  • Grocery shopping: Challenge them to compare prices and pick the best deal. Watch them become tiny bargain hunters.

  • Entrepreneurial fun: Encourage them to run a lemonade stand or sell their handmade crafts. Maybe a digital goods online site? Buy a 3D printer and let them sell fun 3D-printed goods! 

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Over-complicating Concepts: Keep it simple, Dad. Age-appropriate explanations are your friend.

2. Skipping Gratitude: Don’t miss the chance to teach them about giving back. Charity isn’t just for grown-ups.

3. Doing It All for Them: Let them fumble and learn. A few small mistakes today mean fewer big ones later.

Try these things in the upcoming weeks:

• Set up a money jar system or allowance plan for your kids this week.

• Involve them in a small financial decision, like choosing between two brands at the store. Bonus: They’ll think it’s fun.

• Share a resource with them, like The Berenstain Bears' Trouble with Money or a kid-friendly financial app.

Have questions? We’re not financial advisors but we definitely recommend setting up time with one. Not sure who or where? Feel free to shoot us an email and we can chat! 

Radical Faith: Purpose in the Pain

Life is full of questions, and faith can be a powerful foundation. This section encourages exploration, growth, and grounding—no matter where you are on your spiritual journey.

How Parenting Reminds Us of How God Grows Us

As a parent you know the struggle, the fine line you walk. Giving your child enough space to learn, explore, and grow, but being there for them so they avoid causing themselves irreparable harm. And it starts when they begin to learn how to sit independently and it ends…I guess never? Right now my daughter is learning how to pull to stand. She can do it on her own, but it’s a struggle. The temptation is to immediately jump in and give her a hand, but if I do that, she will never progress. It’s difficult for her, she grunts and you can see her little eyes narrow in supreme focus. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she falls, and sometimes she cries. But she’s learning and progressing.

Often times the periods of deepest growth in our lives are the most frustrating, uncomfortable, and sometimes even the most painful periods. This is a common theme in the Old Testament. Every spiritual patriarch I can think of went through at least one less than ideal time that resulted in God growing them and showing them more of Himself. Joseph, David, Abraham, Moses, Noah and the list goes on. So next time you’re in the thick of it, when life just feels crushing, take heart. Many times in these situations we want God to just take away all our problems, and we get angry at Him for not. Recognize though that that there is purpose amongst the pain. God is using this situation and this period of your life to grow you and develop your faith in Him.

DAD Review: Evenflo Shyft Dualride

Comparable to the more well known Doona (at least according to our wives)

Not all gear is created equal, and dads need tools that work as hard as they do. In this section, we break down products, gadgets, and services to help you make smart, dad-approved choices for your family.

This is one of those things I thought we would use a lot more than we did. BUT when we did use it, it was super convenient to have. All in all, we do not regret getting this, but I would say its more of a convenience over a necessity. Because TBH most places you use the stroller you could also just carry a carseat or carry baby.

What we love:

• Minimizes baby transitions. Which means a sleeping baby can stay sleeping from the car to being pushed around the brewery.

• Can use the carseat as a carseat separate from the base. ie if you take a different car that day, you don’t have to move the base over.

• Can carry around as a carseat separate from the stroller frame. This reduces the weight to only 8 lbs.

What we don’t love:

• The stroller sits lower to the ground than expected which can make it uncomfortable to push for you 6ft+ kings out there.

• More expensive than just an infant car seat.

• The carseat/stroller combo weighs 19 lbs…add in a baby and it can get heavy quick. Especially for a new mother.

Check them out here (Not a paid sponsorship….yet.)

Bonus dad tip: TBH we’re all balling on a budget, and if you aren’t…good for you. I’ll send you our kickstarter campaign. For the rest of us, if you’re in the CLT area check out this auction site. They auction off Amazon returns, most are brand new. Most other major metros have something similar.